Romain Humbert Humbert itibaren Thurlstone, Sheffield, South Yorkshire S36, UK itibaren Thurlstone, Sheffield, South Yorkshire S36, UK

** spoiler alert ** I read this series a few years ago, and could never quite put into words how I felt about it. I adored The Amulet of Samarkand and The Golem's Eye, but by the time I got to Ptolemy's Gate...things changed. There I was, reading along all cheerily, thinking "what a great, funny series!" fully expecting a happily ever after. Then I read Ptolemy's Gate. I cried for an hour straight after the last page of this book. An hour straight. Then I took a break, and cried some more. This had never happened to me before; yes, okay, I'd shed a few tears and become misty eyed over a few books before, but this was completely different. I was bawling my eyes out and I couldn't stop. I just kept sobbing and sobbing. Luckily no-one was around to hear me or they'd have thought someone had died. I don't know why the ending shocked me so much; I should've expected it. But I didn't. I wanted to hate this book. I really did. After I was done crying, I tried to convince myself the whole series was worthless and the ending didn't matter anyway. But I couldn't. I couldn't forget the wonderful characters, the magical world they lived in, the humour (Bartimaeus was possibly the funniest being I've ever come across in fiction), the way they grew up, the realisations, the heartbreak, the sacrifices. Nathaniel...that boy. I went from loving him, to feeling sorry for him, to hating the way he'd become, to screaming at him, to cheering him on, to pitying him, to loving him, to crying for him. The way Stroud developed his character...his writing is a magic of its own. Because Nathaniel was and still remains one of my favourite characters of all time; flawed, wrong, insensitive, tactless, kind-hearted, guilty, and above all, a hero. I felt for him more than any other character in any other book. Which was why the ending upset me so incredibly. And despite the fact the ending was the complete opposite of what I wanted, I still loved the series. The ending was still amazing. I realised it had to happen that way. And I just couldn't bring myself to hate it, no matter how much thinking about it made me cry. I can never read this series again. Ever. I can't, because just thinking about how much I cried the last time makes me want to cry again. And I don't usually cry. Titanic? Nah. Bambi? Nah. But Ptolemy’s Gate...think Alice in Wonderland and the pool of tears. But that in no way means that I regret reading it. I think The Bartimaeus Trilogy is something everyone needs to read. Unlike most other children’s books, it doesn’t sugarcoat the bad stuff. It shows you how easily anyone can spiral into corruption. And it shows you how difficult it can be to redeem yourself. But most of all, it shows what it is to be a true hero. You don’t have to be a perfect, goody-two shoes to do what’s right. And that, I think, is all you need to know. Read this book. Read this series. No matter if you like it or not, you won’t forget it.