Robert Joseph McBride Joseph McBride itibaren Casa de Zinc, Yacopí, Cundinamarca, Kolombiya
Aelred was a monastic who wrote a guidebook about the selection and cultivation of spiritual friendships. The book club that I am a part of recently read and discussed this work - and I was surprised to hear that very few people felt that it was relevant to their relationships or even all that interesting. So I say that to qualify what follows. I experienced this book quite differently. I envision Aelred as a highly sociable young man, confident that God created relationships for some good purpose. It is fair to say that Aelred's discussion of spiritual friendship centres on questions that the modern mind does not ponder. For example, he spends considerable time wondering how one can say that their affections are properly ordered if they love another human being (a friend) deeply. The book misses the target in terms of contemporary relational concerns. However, seeming irrelevance can be therapeutic for our friendships. Why do we not stress over where we spend our love? Could a more intentional and careful affectional life lead to more robust friendships? Aelred gives us an opportunity to ponder questions such as these. This book is incredibly short but very dense. It is a library book, not a lazy-boy book - so let's set it on a desk between our elbows, take a pencil in hand, and let this book teach us some new questions.